Open Source Budget Special

Can free, open source software make us more desirable?

The sociobiology of humankind is predicated on an evolutionary or 'reproductive fitness' approach to analysing human behaviour.

This has never been articulated more succinctly than by Scott Adams, the author of Dilbert, who devoted a whole chapter to the topic in his book - 'Thriving on Stupidity in the 21st Century'.

Adams argues using the example of Gutenberg*, who invented movable-type printing in the mid 15th Century, that he did so to impress girls and thereby improve his 'chances' with the opposite sex. At that time girls held the Bible and religiosity in very high regard so, by association, he too would have an elevated status.

Why then is this relevant to Open Source software and yesterday's Budget? Bear with me.

Mr. Darling has told us that the public sector is to make savings of £10 billion pounds on top of the £5 billion already announced and that £3.2 billion is to come from Government IT along with a reduction in energy consumption of 34%!

Is there a 'man with a plan' to achieve these targets?

Unfortunately there is a man but not much sign of a plan. Government IT supremo and ex-Logica boss, Dr Read, asserts that the savings will be found simply from better governance and better IT project management (it could hardly get worse) and indeed a Microsoft Cost Savings webinar (on which much of Dr. Read's plan seems to be based) also suggests not driving to work. How very helpful.

Equally short of real solutions to IT money and carbon emissions are to be found various state-run organisations which have already been given 'green' and cost savings awards' which on close inspection seem to amount to switching off unneeded workstations and lights.

Surely they've missed out something?

Eerily absent (an oversight no doubt) from the savings scenarios above was any mention of free, open source software, the deployment of which has been show to produce cost savings of 80%. What is more FOSS leads the way in energy reduction technologies both on the server and the desktop. Indeed major Gov. organisations like Becta and the OGC IT procurement suggest strongly that free, open source solutions should be considered first. Maybe I had better call in.

After all it's a no-brainer, carbon reduction and money savings ... I've just made the necessary calculations in my head. £3billion saved is easy-peasy ... I can't wait to get their response, they will be so pleased. I may even get an award.

Why I'm not attractive enough to get the award

The reason is I think as follows. A recent survey in the UK found that Microsoft was the most trusted business brand in the UK (or was it second, who cares?). This means that by association, to be an owner of Microsoft products such as Vista Ultimate and Office 2007 (yes I know they are pants but this is not the point) confers status. Think back to Gutenberg here.

Now, I think it is fair to say that virtually all IT procurement in the UK Public sector is carried out by males. So subconsciously, a man has more status and thus more chance of reproductive success being the owner of MS Office 2007 on a gargantuan PC than if he had used a combination of Abiword and Gnumeric on a Eee Box. I won't even compare running The Gimp on my laptop to Photoshop on a mega Mac.

Think about it and extend the model, what is could be more manly than having your well-stuffed rack-mounted 20 -blade stack, tumescent with RAM each running a separate instance of MS-SQL at great expense, blasting out heat and noise whilst being gently cooled by an air conditioned handmaid? Come on girls, resist me.

Pity the poor guy with only three low-energy computers running fifteen virtualised (and worst of all) free software based servers. Loser.

If socio-biologists or Dilbert's creator are right this puts today's budget proposals in a bit of a bind. We have to make savings but to do so would mean our attractiveness will droop, especially if we get shot of our expensive IT stuff.

Answer? Switch it off and use it less. After all it's better (for your pulling-power) to own a Bentley and walk to work three times a week than own a Smart car and drive.

We still have to make those 3bn savings though, the country is broke

There is a solution: my mum. She is over eighty years old, so thanks to the Chancellor keeps her £400 per year energy-allowance and gets a real-world 2.5%increase in her pension enhanced by 3% deflation.

My solution then is to move public sector computing to old people's houses. The sys-admins can be drawn from the (predicted) 50% unemployed school leavers and their (announced) internship grants can pay the old folks some rent.

The servers will generate the heat they need to keep the oldies warm, the kids will have a home...and be able to look after the elderly; no need to embrace free, open source software at all: genius.

As I started so shall I finish - 'Thriving on Stupidity in the 21st Century'.